Discovering Your Life



The scariest thing in life is also the most constant.  I know cliche but still it is a fact that we all would rather not have to face day after day.

Marriages change and without help, sometimes from outside, they fall apart and this change usually has a ripple effect that the couple never thought their actions would have on the family they built around the vows they had taken.   This being said who has it the worse?  the children people always say the children.  Kids are awesome at change and unless the parent they end up with is an ogre they have a tendency to fare well through this storm.  I watched my own daughters, the liberation they felt after all the turmoil was out of the house.  The oldest turned out to see this turmoil as normal and decided that the life she wanted was at her mothers, another change that in the end gives her peace of mind.

The one I believe takes it the hardest is the one in the marriage that realizes it is over and they need to do something to end it.  Speaking up and facing that fate that became inevitable forces change on a level that they had not thought was coming.  Relief, fear, worry and sometimes overzealous exhilaration can erupt from a person that was generally rather conservative by nature.  That was all the changes that came upon me I was happy that it was over scared of being alone for the rest of my life, worrying constantly about the judging that was to come.  I got into a relationship way before I was ready and in a full bore mindset drove a wedge between that person and myself that will last a lifetime.  The biggest change to come out of all of this was like most things unexpected.  I was injured less then a month after the finalization of my divorce and now had a catastrophic life change to deal with.

I was injured bad enough that summer I was unable to work and lost my job, the relationship I had started ended as well.  The greatest change was finding God.  This change put it all back together and has flowed me effortlessly through dozens of changes in the last three years.  I an so blessed to be living my life as I had always wanted and not having the fear of change that I used to.  The hardest thing i ever had to do was let go of the woman I used to love but now I have come to know a love that I will never have to change out of, my love with God is eternal and that is the only constant we all can have in our life.